


Pre-2016 Elections

by UNIVERSACE



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: APH America is fucked, Alfred F. Jones - Freeform, America (Hetalia: Axis Powers) - Freeform, America and Mexico are brothers, America being America (Hetalia), America got fucked, American Politics, Brothers America & Canada (Hetalia), Crack, Elections, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Late Night Writing, Mentioned Canada (Hetalia), Mentioned England (Hetalia), Mentioned France (Hetalia), Mentioned Mexico (Hetalia), OBAMA, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UNIVERSACE/pseuds/UNIVERSACE
Summary: Barack Obama makes Alfred F. Jones struggle to do Mathematics because Donald Trump wants to build a wall.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Pre-2016 Elections

**Author's Note:**

> this is perhaps the most inaccurate, unresearched fic that i made rereading it now some three years after i forgot about it. i'm not american nor do i understand american politics (i try), h*ck, i'm not even from the americas but i was pretty pissed about the 2016 elections, i guess (and it's really hard not to see why now). everything that you read here is the raw copy of the text that dates from 2016-07-09, save for some grammatical and lexical edits i made. enjoy (???)

Everything is stressful for Alfred. What's worse is that a lot of problems are arising one after the other and it's making him feel all sick and sluggish. Even Obama doesn't know what to do with his condition. Inside an office room, Alfred stared outside the window, observing how peaceful it is outside and how his condition right now contradicts this. He takes a glance at Obama, then his paperwork, then back again at the window and sighed. A hoarse cough comes out from his mouth.

"I still don't get this country thing with you," his boss states, "why are you still _this_ sick?"

Alfred slides down his chair and groans loudly. "Basically, a lot is going on in this country. First of all, it's Clinton and Trump. Second of all, my money, and I still owe a lot to the old man. Third of all-"

"Just one word, Alfred."

Alfred gives him a look. "Trump."

Obama set his pen aside and slouches on his seat. "Why 'Trump'?"

"There's a lot of reasons." Alfred clears his throat. "Mexico. He wants to create a fucking ripoff of Yao's Great Wall to 'protect' us from the Mexicans," he pauses for a bit, catching his breath, "and I'm just thinking, like, if it took at least half of Yao's life to create that wall, how much more for two terms?" Alfred laughs. "Never have I ever met a man so stupid."

"But this is your land, and your brother, if you are-"

Alfred cuts him off, "We kinda are, in the past, when England and Spain hadn't taken over us yet."

Obama nods. "This isn't China, I'm pretty sure it'll take at most 10 years to build the wall."

Alfred pays no attention to the fact and takes out his phone to search for the duration of the construction of the well-known historical site. "You see," the country exclaims, "over two thousand years and twenty-one thousand and two hundred kilometers long..!"

The president sighs. "Do the math then while I'm gone."

The blond widens his eyes in shock, "Are you seriously going to leave me here alone while I suffer from thinking about how this guy will ruin my house?"

Obama stands up and grabs anything necessary, then opens the door. He takes one last look at Alfred's face, "Do the math." With a click, the door shut.

Alfred sits down on _the chair_ , staring at the wall and, impulsively, made up his mind. "What if I purge this country for reals, though?" His conscience immediately responds with a heavy 'no' for an answer. He then spins around the comfortable chair and curses when his toenail hits the table.

In a few seconds of pain, Alfred receives a much-deserved clarity and screams, "Holy fuck! Why am I regretting that I became independent in the first place, that was like _centuries_ ago!" Unfortunately, his 'clarity' sets up a foolish plan that will very much not come through in the years, but Alfred isn't thinking about that. His smile grows wider and wider, as if manic, and he whispers to himself, "What if me and Matt united?"

_Smart_ , he thinks, but it really isn't. The plan is bound to fail. Regardless, he stands up from the chair and runs outside, not bothering to care about the six people now chasing after him and has his heart set on meeting his brother from the North in Ottawa. He boards his bike and waves a pleasant goodbye to the now thirteen people, including military personnel, chasing after him. "So long, my people," Alfred exclaims, "the wall can go fuck itself and I'm about to get married!"

**Author's Note:**

> well, i don't have much to say about it :/ you can leave kudos and feel free to drop comments! with my pretty much weak immune system, i'm mostly at home and i'll be posting some of my works here now, after gaining more confidence in my writing style.
> 
> see ya~


End file.
